Two houses can be identical on the outside but look completely different when you walk inside. No two interiors are exactly the same. Families are like that, too, especially ones that have parents who live separately from their children. No two situations are exactly alike, and figuring out what works best for them, parallel parenting or co-parenting, depends on the dynamics between the adults.
So, what is the difference between co-parenting and parallel parenting?
Co-parenting involves people who communicate with each other while raising their children in separate homes. Parents with parallel parenting schedules have very little or no communication and detailed guidelines to follow.
Both parenting schedules involve a type of shared parenting where the child or children spend pre-determined time with each household. Parallel parenting is a much more rigid, spelled-out schedule so that the parents do not need to communicate with each other.
So, How Do You Know What Applies to Your Situation?
You may find that co-parenting applies to your divorce or separation situation if you and your former partner still have respectful communication between you. If you can work details out through simple texts or phone calls, then this type of parenting schedule could be a good fit for your home.
Parallel parenting might apply to your family if respectful communication is no longer possible. If there is so much conflict that even simple texts or phone calls create too much friction, then the black-and-white decisiveness of parallel parenting is a good way to keep the children in touch with both parents while eliminating the possibility of fights.
So, When is Each More Effective?
No matter what the inside of your house looks like, you want your home to be a peaceful place for your children. Whether things are good between you and your ex-partner or not, the children need to feel as little conflict as possible. Co-parenting can be the most effective for your situation when all parents can show respect, flexibility, and willingness to compromise. This demonstrates to the children how to treat others who may have differences.
Your daughter may have a 6 p.m. Friday pick-up time, but this week she wants to get picked up later so she can go for ice cream with her soccer team after a winning game. So, you text your ex-partner who agrees with the time change and although it is a little inconvenient, your daughter is happy.
Parallel parenting is most effective if your or your former partner does not cope well with change. It takes away the possibility of not knowing what will happen. It is also more effective for situations where former spouses should not have contact due to a history of abuse or violence.
A rigid schedule leaves no doubt about what will happen when and gives the children a plan they can count on. They understand there is no possibility of change. Your son can plan a sleepover with his best friend in your neighborhood because he knows the exact day and time he will be with you.
Related Questions
So, What is a Benefit of Co-Parenting?
A beneficial aspect of co-parenting is consistency. By having consistent rules in each household, such as same tv and bedtimes, exercising the same disciplinary actions, and sharing information regularly, the children will not experience the confusion that happens when these parts of their lives are handled inconsistently.
So, What is a Benefit of Parallel Parenting?
A major benefit for children in parallel parenting is the peace that comes from the lack of conflict. Not only is there stability because of the detailed schedule, but there is also quietness because the parents no longer engage in communication.
Recap
Every family situation is unique, and determining whether co-parenting or parallel parenting is best for yours is important for the happiness of your children. This depends on how well, or if, you and your former partner communicate, and will help keep your home a happy, peaceful place.
Tower Karson Law in Livonia is a divorce and family law firm that can help with all aspects of your divorce or family law issue. Our trusted representation is supported by experienced attorneys providing you with a voice to secure your interests while protecting your rights. Whether it’s child custody, parenting time, spousal support or property division, our goal is to reach a positive result that is fair and deserved. Call to schedule a Free consultation and approach the divorce process with confidence.